Assembling a show can be a stressful process, but the heavy workload is made much lighter with a good-hearted group of people. We asked the LoveBirds actors if they knew any jokes—specifically, about parrots and penguins. Thankfully, the cast came squawking!
Jonny Purchase started us off with a good one…
Just had a cup of tea with a penguin.
The tea was good but the conversation was rubbish.
Rafe Watts had a zinger in store.
There has been a big bust-up in the biscuit tin. A bandit called Rocky who was crackers hit a Penguin over the head with a club, tied him to a wagon wheel with a blue riband, kidnapped a trophy and made his breakaway in a taxi. The police say Rocky was last seen just after eight by a viscount from Maryland hobnobbing a ginger nut. Unfortunately, they haven’t got a crumb of evidence!
Ruth Betteridge thought of an old classic.
Q: What is black and white and red all over?
A: A sunburnt penguin!
Greg Castiglioni fleshed out a full story.
A woman sees a beautiful parrot in a pet-shop window with a £1 sign next to it. Excited about the fantastic bargain, she enquires as to why the price is so low. “Well…” the shopkeeper says, “He grew up in a brothel and doesn’t always say the most polite things.” Undeterred, the woman hands over £1 and takes the bird home. Once she has placed the cage securely on the kitchen table she removes the cover. The parrot looks around and says, “New digs, lovely!” A short while later the woman’s two daughters come home. The parrot whistles and cries out, “Woo hoo! New women! Fantastic!!!” As the three women watch the parrot in amazement, the woman’s husband walks in. Without dropping a beat the parrot exclaims, “Eh Keith, this is much better than the old place isn’t it?”
Anna Stolli and George Knapper both have a similar sense of humour.
Q: What’s orange and sounds like a Parrot?
A: A Carrot!!
But Greg came back with another!
A burglar breaks into a house thinking no one is home. However, as he’s looking for goods to steal, a voice says, “Jesus is watching you.” Terrified that he’s been caught, he freezes. Once more the voice says, “Jesus is watching you.” Slowly the burglar turns around and spots a large cage in the corner of the room with a parrot in it. “Did you say something?” he asks the parrot. “Yes,” replies the parrot, “Jesus is watching you”. Relieved, he asks the parrot for it’s name. “Moses,” answers the parrot. “What kind of stupid person names their parrot Moses?” he scoffs, and the parrot replies, “The same stupid person that named his Rottweiler Jesus.”